


How Revealing!

by itsybitsyish



Category: The Mighty Boosh
Genre: Crack, Disaster, Implied Sexual Content, Leather, M/M, Secret Crush, Secret love, Short, Skin, Tight, club, drainpipes, fashion - Freeform, late, skinny jeans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-14 15:54:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11786472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsybitsyish/pseuds/itsybitsyish
Summary: After Vince works on creating a look based off of a favourite singer, he learns there's a bit of a problem; they're dangerously tight, and he's going to need a little help from Howard to get out of them.





	How Revealing!

**Author's Note:**

> This is a first attempt at a crack piece, so take it with a grain of salt.

It was a hot August Saturday night, and Naboo had invited the boys out to a new club as a treat.  
After all, the Nabootique had recently become rather popular, with business more than doubling, and his employees were handling it exceptionally well with it only being the two of them.  
At least, Vince was. Howard, in Naboo's opinion, was the same ballbag he'd always been. Vince was just that much more dependable when it came to the shop.  
Still, he tried, and Naboo couldn't fault him for that.

'Aren't you ready yet?' Naboo called to Vince as he waited with Bollo and Howard in the den.  
A minute or two later, Vince came strolling out of his room.  
'You can't be serious.' Howard said bluntly, unable to keep himself from staring.  
Vince put his hands on his narrow hips. 'Granted, it's a new look, but it's a solid one!'  
Nobody said a word.

'Oh, come on, it's not that bad! I got the idea from that outfit Lukas Kistlesson wore in his latest music video and everyone loved that.' Vince said, sounding a tad put out.  
'And, just like Kistlesson, everyone is going to be able to tell your circumsion status.' Naboo replied, wondering how Vince had managed to take a single step in those incredibly tight red leather drainpipes.  
Vince frowned, looking down at his crotch.  
He hadn't noticed it before, but it was true; his typical drainpipes could be considered baggy in comparison. Still, these were so comfortable. And, they'd taken ages to make.  
'I'll be two minutes more!' Vince told them, turning and slowly making his way back to his room to change.  
But, two minutes later, everyone was still waiting.

'We're giving you thirty seconds, Vince, then we're leaving. With or without you.' Naboo grumbled.  
A moment later, there came a muffled 'Howard!' through the door.  
Howard sighed, and went over, wondering what was taking so long.  
'Yeah, what is it?' He asked.  
The door opened a crack, and one of Vince's blue eyes peered out at him.  
'I need a little help.' He admitted in defeat. 'I'm stuck.'  
Howard sighed. 'Well, I can't say I'm surprised, sir.' He said, coming into the room and closing the door behind himself.

Vince stood there, trousers unbuttoned and zipper down, looking rather embarrassed.  
Howard blinked, trying not to think of how good Vince looked in that moment; everything from his carefully mussed hair and smudged eyeliner, even to those preposterous drainpipes, suited Vince so well that it made his head swim.  
'Right, so, what are we going to do about these, then?' Howard asked.  
Vince bit his bottom lip. 'I suppose you could try pulling them down for me. I haven't had any luck, but maybe your angle might do the trick.'

Howard moved in closer, reaching out and getting a good grip on the waistband.  
He started pulling downward, gently at first, but to no avail.  
Vince was looking down at him with a vague sort of amusement on his face.  
'What?' Howard asked, feeling his face go a bit red.  
'Nothing. It's just... Well, if someone were to walk in on us right now they'd think you were abo-'  
'Yes, that's enough, thank you very much.' Howard cut him off, and Vince chuckled. 'How did you even squeeze yourself into these things?'  
'Got a bit of help from Bollo.' Vince answered. 'It still wasn't easy, though, even with all his monkey strength.'  
Howard tried tugging another way. Then another. And, yet another.  
'Howard?' Vince said, placing a hand against the wall.  
'Yes?'   
'I'm pretty sure my legs are going numb.' Vince admitted, though if truth be told they'd been numb for a good ten minutes by that point.  
Howard's eyes glinted. 'I'll be right back.' He said, leaving the room.  
As he went through the den, he noticed that Naboo was feigning sleep against Bollo, who was snoring falsely.  
Howard went into the kitchen and found what he was looking for with ease.

'What d'you think you're doing?!' Vince all but yelped, his eyes wide and tone shrill as Howard brandished the pair of silver scissors he'd fetched.  
'We've tried everything else, now it's time for those ridiculous trousers to come off.' Howard told him reasonably. 'I'll even be careful to try and go down a seam so you'll be able to mend them afterward.'  
Vince sulked, but gave a nod.  
'Good.' Howard said, carefully sliding one of the scissors' blades down by Vince's hip. 'Am I hurting you?'  
Vince shook his head.  
Feeling a bit more confident, Howard took the first snip.  
A few inches of Vince's ghostly pale skin was revealed as the fabric came apart.

It became evident that there was no underwear being worn beneath the snug trousers, and Howard did his best to keep from thinking about that fact.  
A few snips more, and Vince was much more comfortable, yet still stuck.  
Howard had needed to cut along each outside leg seam in order to completely free Vince.  
Once this was done, Howard made sure to avert his gaze as Vince pulled on a pair of black denim drainpipes.  
This made Howard wonder if Vince usually went commando.  
He closed his eyes, trying to clear his mind of this thought, and left the room to find the den empty.  
There had been a note left on the coffee table which read 'Meet you there'.  
Vince came up beside him. 'Thanks, Howard. You were just the man for the job.'  
Howard blushed crimson. 'Yeah, you're welcome. No problem at all, sir. None at all.'  
Vince smiled.

He leaned in and planted a simple kiss on Howard's cheek, watching his reaction.  
Howard didn't pull away, only became more awkward.  
Vince tried another kiss, this time on the lips.  
Howard reacted with shock, but was soon kissing Vince right back.  
It was around then that they both felt an overwhelming and mind-numbing need for more kick in.  
There was no way they were making it to the club that night.  
It was fortunate that Naboo and Bollo had left when they did, or else they would have been in for quite the raucous and rowdy couple of hours.


End file.
